-Uncle Henry, tell me a story
-No it's late go to bed, Santa will be here soon
-No, I want a story, please?
Do you want a happy story or do you want a scary story?
-I want a happy-scary story
-A happy-scary story
-Alright, once upon a time there lived a man by the name...by the name of Jack Frost
-Thats right, like in the song 'Jack Frost nipping at your nose'
Only this guy did it for real
You know how regular folk get up in the morning, eat something, then hurry off to do whatever for the day
Well Jack would get up, eat something, then hurry off and kill someone
Because that's what he did, he killed people
-Jack was nimble, Jack was quick
Jack gouged eyes with candle sticks
And smashed in skulls with sticks and stones
Used iron bars to crush their bones so he could hide his kills in tiny places and he wouldn't have to see their faces
He'd stick knives in their faces and cut out their tummies
And stamp on their heads 'till their brains got all runny
This should be last [...] to indicate where the handle of the ax was twisted from side to side to help it down
But no, all the cuts are near vertical
It forced the handle straight down
Mutant killer snowman