What the hell is that
There is a scientific theory
That paranormal events are problems of the human mind
And that ghosts only exist because we believe in them
Get out of my house
Once you believe it's real, you die
Call for help
Once you believe it's real
Call for help
It has been established that persons who have recently died
Have been returning to life and committing acts of murder
A widespread investigation of funeral homes, morgues, and hospitals
Have concluded that the unburied dead have been returning to life
And seeking human victims
It's hard for us here to be reporting this to you
But it does seem to be a fact
What the hell is that
The main advice news reporters
Have been able to get from official sources
Is to tell private citizens
To stay inside their homes behind locked doors
Do not venture outside for any reason
Until the nature of this crisis has been determined
And until we can advise what course of action to take
Please keep listening to radio and TV
For special instructions as this crisis develops further
What the hell is that