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Periphery - All I Want For Christmas lyrics


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- Yo what's up man I heard you got a new guitar
- Oh yeah that's so right, it's so awesome
- Oh yeah, tell me about that shit
- Oh yeah, it's got like all these strings and everything
Well you know what? As a matter of fact, I'ma play you a song
It's about last Christmas
And it all began with the Christmas tree selection

See man I got these allergies right now
I was trying to tell my girlfriend
"Why don't we get an artificial tree this Christmas
'Cause they're ultra cool
And they won't make a smell like an elf forest
That will drive me fucking insane and they're easy to assemble"
And they last for like forever or something and she was like
- "No no no we need to get a real christmas tree"
Because of the spirit of the season and all this bullshit
Yuletide and boughs of holly and everything and I was like
"Well I don't have time to go to Target or Wal-Mart
In order to make an orderly purchase"
So I just figured
"Fucking right"
So anyways we just went and we picked out a tree and I was like
"We're going to get a real Christmas tree"

So anyways I was carrying this motherfucker to my car
And it was getting sap all over my jacket
And the smell was driving me fucking insane
And I couldn't take it but maybe I'm thinking:
"Maybe I should just chill out, it is Christmas after all"
So I looked at my girlfriend
I said:
"Baby, baby, what do you want for Christmas?"
And she looked at me with those innocent eyes
Eyes as innocent as a child porn actress or some shit
And she said the name of some fucking perfume by some french guy
And she couldn't even pronounce it right
So I went over to the freaking perfume shop
And I walked in and the smell
It just fucking overpowered me from my already chapped nose
It was so cold and on the top of that
I was smelling the fucking Christmas tree
All the way on the ride home
And I asked her, I was like:
"Do you have this perfume by this french guy?
I think he's gay or some shit"
And she was like:
"Oh yes, yes we have that right over here"
I was like:
"You gotta be fucking kidding me
It's like french and gay and you already know what I want"
And she handed it to me and I bought it
It was like a hundred and fucking eighty dollars or some shit
But I got it because I love my girlfriend
And then I went home and I wrapped it
And I put it underneath the Christmas tree
And my girlfriend came to me and she was like:
"Baby, let's go to midnight mass"
It's like:
"Honey come on man, I'm sorry
But I don't feel like doing that crazy shit"
But it was the christmas season so I went
And we went there and I was falling asleep in church so I felt bad
So I had some coffee
Who the fuck has coffee at midnight?
I can't believe that shit
I'm going to wake up in the morning
And my colon is going to fall out of my ass
Well I did it baby all for you
I stayed wide awake and we went home and before I knew it
It was Christmas

So your parents came over
It's kinda fucked up because they're so cool
Like your mom's super hot with platinum blonde hair
And I'm sure those tits are fake
And your dad said we had to smoke a joint last Thanksgiving
And then you're just such a bitch
You've got your Christmas gift
You're spraying like six doses on your neck and it made me fucking sick
And then before we could do anything else
Like just
The doorbell rang and I opened up the door
And there was like this little autistic kid
It's like:
"What do you want?!"
And he said:

"Hello, I'm going to sing you a song

Dashing through the snow
On a one horse open sleigh
Over the fields we go
Laughing all the way (hohoho)
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
Please sir
My mom's on crack and she'll beat my ass if I don't make money tonight"

Man you've got tourette's or something
That's why I closed the door
Get a fucking clue
Stop singing, stop singing
Oh yeah walk away, walk away, sing to yourself, walk away
Okay that's good, thank you, thank you

So anyways I walked back in to the house
And my girlfriend came up to me and gave me a hug
And I'm sick of her fucking perfume
And her fucking tree and the fucking cat just made my nose bleed
So I stepped back real quick
But that's a good thing because I puked all over the floor
And she's like:
"Oh my god I can't believe you puked all over the floor
In front of my parents, you are so gross"
And I was like:
"Look bitch, shut the fuck up!"
And all of a sudden like your mom just started freaking out
Like someone called her a bitch one too many times in the past
I mean like really cried her eyes out
And it's so fucked up 'cause like
I thought they had it together
But then your dad came up and tried to put his arm around her
And she's like:
"Get away from me you baby killer"
Now it's just a whole bunch of problems that I didn't want to get in to
So I focused back on my girlfriend and I was like
"Man look! You haven't even asked me what I wanted for christmas!
But it's ok, I mean there's like a gift underneath the tree
But I probably don't want it
How could you know what I want?
You never even asked what I wanted, but that's okay baby
'Cause I know what I want for christmas
I want you, the fuck out of my life!

- Yeah man, that's some crazy shit
But anyway check out what I got for Christmas
A new set of drums man
This is going to be the shit

  • Release
  • Djentlemens

  • Year
  • 2009

  • Genre

  • Submitted
  • Approved by Payne
    • 1,344 views

    Top achievedBETA
    #1 Daily Metal

Released on a demo compilation, containing mostly solo-project demos by Periphery's guitarist Misha Mansoor (Bulb)
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